Texting 101

I’ve come to believe that texting is an art. Anyone and everyone can text, but not everyone can text well. I consider myself to be a pretty good texter, and many of my friends are, too. We can carry out what I call textersations for hours and still have things to talk about. Why? Because we are extremely communicative, and that translates onto our text messaging. We know all about the give-and-take that fuels a conversation—telling stories, asking questions, commenting on what the other said, clearing up misunderstandings, cracking jokes, etc.

Thinking back on all the people I text, whether on a regular basis or once a blue moon, I can point out a few who I wish would never text me again, simply because they have nothing to say. Why do they bother? I would like to offer some advice to the bad texters of the world; you guys seriously need it.  

Tip #1: Ask questions.

I have a couple of guy friends who text me from time to time. Every time I see either of their names in my inbox, I roll my eyes. One time I actually threw my cellphone across the room because it upset me so much to hear from one of them yet again. Yes, the conversation was that bad.

The conversation usually starts with “Hey, what’s up?” I respond with a “Not much, just here/ leaving school/on my way somewhere/wishing you had NEVER texted me in the first place. What’s up with you?” This is the part that I hate. The person responds with “Not much, x, y, and z.” He gives me nothing to make conversation with because I don’t think we need to get into any more detail about the TV show he is watching, the homework he is completing, or the body part/s he is scratching.  I asked a question in my last text massage, and now it should be his turn to ask me a question, right? Wrong. I ask all the questions and he provides the answers, and I am never asked anything.

It’s inconsiderate and rude for someone to just talk while the person at the other end [me] is frying her brain trying to come up with more questions to ask. Ask me questions. Ask me about my day, about how I’m doing in school, about how my weekend has been. Having a little reciprocity in our conversation makes me much less inclined to ignore your text messages altogether, or to just stop texting you after the third message. This first tip goes hand in hand with my next tip.

Tip #2: Don’t just talk about yourself

While it’s nice catching up with a friend and finding out everything he or she has been up to since you last spoke to or saw each other, at some point the conversation needs to shift to you and everything you have been up to. Strike a balance between talking about yourself and asking your friends questions about themselves. If you find yourself saying “me” or “I” too many times in a conversation, chances are the people you’re texting or talking to notice it, too, and they want you to shut the @&$! up.

The perfect way to not talk about yourself too much is to ask the other person questions about themselves. See how that works?    

Tip #3: Don’t text people just because you’re bored, and don’t be boring while texting out of boredom.

Sure, many textersations start because we’re bored and start texting people; guilty as charged. It doesn’t mean that you now have to bore other people to death with your meaningless conversation. If you have something to say and can carry out a decent conversation, by all means, text your friends; otherwise, pick up a book, a couple of free weights, a cheeseburger, a hooker [just don’t get caught]. But whatever you do, don’t pick up your phone.

One more thing, if you’re texting someone out of boredom, DON’T TELL THEM YOU ARE TEXTING THEM OUT OF BOREDOM. This will not sit well with them, I would know. It totally turns people off and makes them not want to make an effort to converse with you. And if you plan on ever texting the same person again, don’t be surprised if they don’t respond for a while.

Tip #4: Use proper grammar

I stopped texting “ur,” “cuz,” b4,” “dnt,” and “u” after middle school. While I severely dislike it when people text using improper grammar, I respect that people think using abbreviations is easier and more convenient than spelling everything out and takes up less characters. However, past middle school it’s time for you to grow up, stop being lazy, and take the time to spell everything out and use punctuation. You wouldn’t write a high school or college paper in text language, would you? Don’t answer that just in case.

Tip #5: Don’t “K” people

Finally, a “K” to signal the end of a conversation is totally unacceptable, no matter the circumstance. I would rather a person not send a text at all following my last one so I could avoid the teeth grinding. Sending “K” to me, or to anyone for that matter, is a waste of a text and a waste of the second it takes to read it. One-word text messages in general are a bad idea. Don’t send them. Period.   

The rules of texting are quite simple, and I hope that the bad texters of the world will get a clue; there is even room for improvement for the good texters. With the way technology is advancing,  need to be conscientious of our etiquette not only when having face-to-face or phone  conversations, which are no longer the norm, but when texting and messaging in general.

Something that I didn’t mention in the tips: Having the same conversation with someone over text is not good either. “How are you?” and “What are you up to?” get old after a while. Switch up the topic of conversation; it all goes back to asking questions. You’d be surprised how much you find out about a person by playing 20 Questions over text.  There should really be a course on this.